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Virtual Mayhem Season 6

Game 1: Human All-Naturals vs. Chaos 7 Deadly Sins

Game tied 1-1. 2-2 casualties.

Game started with a pitch invasion in favor of the All-Naturals. The foggy, good-natured general admission crowd at the All-Natural Stadium were evidently concealing a few militant ultras who managed to get on the field and do some damage, turn 0. Most of the Sins were put on the ground with stars over their head, no injuries or KOS.

The Sins started with the ball on their side, and the All-Naturals were shamefully unable to steal possession despite the pitch invasion. Instead, they went into their normal modus operandi of attrition, attrition, attrition. 1 blitz, 1 foul, every turn for the entire game.

The Chaos Horde slowly rock and rolled their way down the field despite this, the main body of the team ignoring the feeble kicking and punching occurring on the periphery. The half closed with a touchdown for the Sins. Score 1-0.

When the smoke cleared after the halftime show, it was discovered the All-Naturals had managed to injure a Sins beastman as well as knock out another beastman. The Sins entered the second half with a player disadvantage.

Things did not look good for the All-Naturals during the 9th turn of the game. They had possession, but the Sins were doing a good job of keeping linemen knocked over and blocking up avenues for a runner to get through with the ball.

An ill-fated catcher tried to sneak across the battle line, and promptly failed his first dodge roll.

During the next few turns, however, a single lineman managed to hop out of his tackle zone prison  and ooze his way up to a prime receiving position near the end zone.

The Sins saw what was happening, and sent a beastman to go knock that brave lineman off his feet and back to the hard, unforgiving pitch.

But next turn, the lineman got back up! And hopped out of the tackle zone again! And stood in the end zone! The clock had now made it to turn 12 and the All-Naturals were running out of time.

The All-Naturals still had possession. The star thrower had been sweatily clutching his pigskin treasure for 4 turns straight, watching a steadily advancing line of Sinners with murder on their minds. Finally he made his move. Running and dodging, he broke through a weak spot in the line. He "went for it" to move one more space. This put the pass to the lineman in the end zone into the 5+ band. It was a pretty long shot. He tried to make the pass. He failed! He rerolled! He achieved a PERFECT PASS!!!!!!

The ball sailed like a cruise missile over the field, and smashed into that lineman square in the chest. His hands instinctively closed on the ball. It was an instant touchdown. The crowd completely lost their minds, until I hit escape a couple of times to skip the cinematics.

Then the Sins had possession again. During the first part of the half, the Sins had been busy reaping All-Natural linemen like stalks of wheat at harvest time. Two humans lay in the infirmary and 1 more was knocked out. Luckily, there were plenty more humans waiting in the reserve box. So the Sinners were still down on players to the All-Naturals.

Cracking their knuckles, the Sins went to work with the reaping again, knocking down humans left and right. A beastman effortlessly picked up the ball on the first try and made serious progress towards the end zone. It was looking like it would be a 2-1 game for the Sins. The Naturals kept trying to get in the way, but were swatted down at every opportunity.

Finally, the ball-carrying beastman is looming at the threshold. It's the last turn of the game. He has to go for it twice to make it. He fails the go for it. He rerolls. As you can probably guess, he fails the re-rolled going for it. He lays down on the ground and goes to sleep, one step away from a second Sinner touchdown.

The game ends in the most glory-soaked drawn game every witnessed on the blood bowl field.

Game 2: Human All-Naturals vs. Chaos SNAFU

The Naturals won 3-0. Casualties 5-4 in favor of SNAFU.

It was an absolute bloodbath. The Snafu and Naturals had sharpened their knives for this match and the rich red kroovy started running from the moment the opening whistle or horn or whatever blew.

Bodies were stacked up in the casualty box like cordwood before a long winter. At the end of the game, only 7 players from each team remained on the field.

The Naturals got a player advantage early in the game and used it to limit the progress of the advancing snafu in the first half.

Second half, the Naturals got the ball and made quick progress moving across the field. A quick pass to a waiting catcher ended in the first TD of the game on the 3rd turn.

The second TD was touch and go. The Snafu had an excellent cage going, but managed to make a couple bad blocks leaving their carrier beastman slightly exposed. A lineman got in there and gave the beastman his best forearm shiver. The ball was dropped, and then picked up by a chaos warrior. A human lineman next to the chaos warrior made an unlikely block that sent the ball flying again. A third chaos player, this time a beastman, deftly caught the ball and held it tightly. Yet another lineman blocked this beastman and again scored a very lucky block result. The ball went in full wild weasel mode and ended up on the floor. Eventually a blitzer got the ball in hand and ended up sending it into the endzone.

The last touchdown was extremely lucky. Both teams were extremely fatigued and the Snafu ball carrier made the classic blunder of failing to pickup the ball. We have all been there. Natural linemen ran from both sides, closing a scissor grip on the ball that resulted in a touch down on the last turn of the game.

The crowd left in silence. They had got all the entertainment they paid for and more. $10 bought them those general admission seats, but when the maintenance crew came to clear the bleachers, they found only the edges were ever put to use.

A fantastic game!

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