I’ll Buy That for a Thaler: The Elusive Fresco of the Future

Science teaches us that with sufficiently advanced technology, we might very well be living within a computer simulation. We could be entered into an incredibly detailed hologram, with all knowledge of our previous existence erased. Somewhere out at the edge of consciousness, robotic servants tend to our collective Matrioshka brain and ensure we never regain the realization of the universe’s dwindling energy reserves.

Within this monumental machine, we live as we once did millenias of millenias ago. We are painters, and we compete to finish a glorious ceiling fresco within a nondescript cathedral.

And our most important decision every day is of course what time to get up in the morning.

What era does Fresco take place in? The “Thaler” used in this game is pretty non-descriptive. It's a currency with common usage over 400 years, sighted in many places around Europe and throughout the Holy Roman Empire.

Whatever historical period these events happen, there is certainly only 1 hand on the clock. And it’s the hour hand.

Fun Fact: the first minute hand was built in 1577.

So we each pick a different hour (certainly no one is allowed to get up at the same time as anyone else) and we get out of bed. We buy our paint, then do some painting, then earn some side money, THEN mix some paint, then finally go to the theatre.

What shows are playing at the theatre? The game never tells you. Maybe they went to go see Rent. or Hairspray. These are the first 2 shows that come to mind.

Do you know what would make an even better pastime for exhausted master painter’s assistants? As an introvert, I would steer my off-duty hours as a painter towards a nice quiet board game. Perhaps Ticket to Ride.

Two assistant painters, Mario and Luigi, engage in a conversation:

“Luigi, what is-a this America we are-a playing on?”

“I don’t-a know Mario, but I am-a blocking you out of New Orleans. How do you like that?”

“ We should-a picked a better reality for our-a Matrioshka Brain.”

“Luigi, I don’t remember how we got-a here.”

“That’s-a because of the robots, Mario.”

Blog author's note:

Of course they didn’t say this, because they weren’t in a Nintendo game. Or in Italy, since Italy was never part of the Holy Roman Empire, and never used the Thaler. Perhaps they are painting in Bohemia. Yet Nintendo has never made a single game exploiting stereotypical Bohemian accents. The best I could find on Youtube was this.

So you send the workers to the theatre. You send them out to buy paint. And you also have to make sure you are painting.

Reverse Order Ceiling Art

You have all these squares of potential Fresco you need to finish. Some take certain colors, and usually complementary colors you need to mix up FIRST. But here's the rub: in Fresco, you mix SECOND after you make the trip to the Cathedral.

So you have to anticipate the specific colors you are going to need the turn before. Sometimes a few turns before because if you want one of the really awesome colors like Pink or Brown you are going to need to mix multiple times.

This goes completely outside my board game comfort area.

What is comfortable to me is getting colors randomly, and then positioning my workers to take the best advantage of what colors I could possibly get. Instead I have to work for the colors, and then paint the most stuff out of what potential spots are going to be left on the board.

Because you have all these other jerk players, 2-3 other jerk players, who are painting at the same time and trying to block you out of New Orleans like that high-jumping route-griefing Luigi in the previous example.

When you get me outside my comfort zone, and you start making big demands for me to optimize my color selection for future turns, you are going to get a lot of orange.

I made all the orange. More orange than any fresco would need 100 times over.

Program Jamming

On BGG, Fresco is labeled as a “programmed movement” game. I never thought about this until after I bought my own copy but this is exactly what it is. If you pick the wrong action, in the wrong order, you are going to end up standing in a church without any painting materials to actually do anything. Which is what I see a lot of beginner players doing (especially myself). You are just out of luck.

In the same way one false move in Robo Rally can put your robot in the shredder pit, one false move in Fresco leaves you with an empty cathedral, no income, and exponentially inefficient worker usage. The only “catch up” mechanism is giving our hypothetical planner first pick of what time to get up in the morning. Yup, we’re back to that again.

So instead of your robot being rebooted from a safe backup, you find yourself back at the hostel trying to order the coming day just like before. Only all your smart-brained opponents had a productive day to get ahead of you.

If only there was a way to make the game end faster once someone gets really far ahead. Or maybe some way to efficiently convert complementary paint back into its primary components. Of course, that runs pretty counter to the theme, right?

What is Reality?

There’s plenty to enjoy in Fresco. My recommendation if you are playing it is to only enter the cathedral when you are 100% positive you can paint something. Stockpile cash, acquire paint, mix up a GOOD VARIETY of complementary colors. Don’t end up with too much of one color, because all the good spots for these colors can vanish over a turn or two.

And during the lulls in play, when others are deciding what time they should get up in the morning, consider the nature of the reality in which you live. Are you playing a board game? Or are you a pawn in someone else’s board game, playing a board game to improve the collective morale of your fellow pawns? You will probably never know, because the robots are programmed to remove these thoughts to preserve your virtual paradise.