Ready to Wear, and a Classic Blunder

The New Year is a time of new beginnings! Since today is New Year's Day on Phobos, where my clock is currently set to, I thought I would take this time to make a new post!

My, my, my, things have been busy! Hmmmm…

Okay. Here is what happened. Some people might consider me excentric. I recently bought a new game. That game was Prêt-à-Porter, by Portal games over in Poland. The game is an economic simulation, involving the high fashion industry.

Wow. What a wild ride.

There are so many things I should have done differently. But I want to write first and foremost about the classic blunder I committed. This is a blunder on par with the infamous one about starting a land war in Asia. It is a blunder that many board game fans have committed, and definitely one I should have known enough to avoid at this stage of my life.

Targeting my earthly New Year's Eve party as the likely time I could bring this game out, I ordered it shortly after Christmas so it would get to my house on time. It arrived at the Minotaur Lair with about 2 days to spare.

Fast forward to New Year's Eve and my guests begin to arrive. The food is all laid out. The table is all cleared off. Prêt-à-Porter is sitting on the table, packed to the gills with game-playing potential and practically glowing. But there are a couple issues.

1) I have not looked at the rules

2) I have not punched out the chits

3) I have not opened the box

4) The shrink-wrap is still on the box

I really should have known better

What follows was a slow slog through a deep quagmire. I will try to describe it as best I can.

The first thing I learned about Prêt-à-Porter was that it is a very complex game. The second thing I learned was that the rules were not translated perfectly from the original Polish and understanding the meaning of each sentence sometimes wasn't instantaneous.

Regardless, the ultimate fault lies NOT with the game, but with the purchaser and executor of the game, ME.

I should have opened it the day before. Punched out the parts. Read the rule book. SLEPT on the rules over night. Looked up anything I had questions about online, since we have this wonderful thing called the Internet now. Then introduced people to the game with my head full of knowledge, instead of the wiffling noggin of confusion I ended up with as I quickly scanned and re-scanned page after page.

It probably took 5 hours to play that game, and we only made it a quarter of the way through. The first turn took 31/2 hours. The 2nd turn took 1 hour. The 3rd took about 30 minutes.

As an experienced gamer, I should have thought more about The Learning Curve, the enemy of all first gaming sessions.

There is a lot going on in Prêt-à-Porter.

1) There is money to keep track of. The goal of the game is to have the most money at the end. Everyone starts with money to buy things. Hopefully you will earn more money as the game continues. You can also earn golden money. Golden money counts towards the end game but you can't spend it, think of it as brand recognition.

2) The first two turns are preparation months preparing for your first big fashion show. You have to spend your money extremely wisely on a selection of contracts, buildings, new employees and fashion designs. You also have to collect materials. You also have to spent time hyping up your brand so people will actually be interested in your line when it comes out.

3) You must collect materials to finish your designs, in a manner similar to other games with different bright multi-colored blocks that represent different types of fabric.

4) But there is also a set collection mechanism. You can only show one collection of clothes at each Fashion Show, so your designs must all be of similar type…sports, vintage, children, that sort of thing. Some of the buildings and employees can actually convert one type of clothes into another and I really wish looking back I had invested in some of them because this set collection is essential to victory.

5) Finally, you have to always be bringing back your mind to the final objective…the money. The clothes you sell have to earn you enough money to make all the build up worth it at the end of the show. I ended up spending about an equal amount of money as I earned. You probably want to do better than this.

6) Your performance in the show will earn you "stars" which eventually will be turned into the golden money you need to beat all your rivals in the end game. Only the best line at each show gets the stars, so the skill of your opponents will directly impact your own success.

In the first game we played, I was completely totally overwhelmed. Midway through the grueling session, I decided the purchase of this game was a terrible, horrible mistake.

But towards the end, things started looking up. Talking to many of my poor victims (who thought there would be a fun game at the party) I was surprised to find many of them would actually give this game another try. Somehow, we had made it over the hump of the dreaded learning curve.

If you would like to see a video of Prêt-à-Porter in action, tough luck! I took no photography, let alone full-motion video of that ill-fated day. Well actually, you can see something.

Scott Nicolson is a game reviewer I greatly admire. He managed to get a little footage of this game together for one of his "In-Play Reviews". You can check it out here:

His observations are pretty close to my own…that first game is a terrible slog. But I have faith now we will play again. And I promise, I will post the results.

You can see more of Scott's videos at his YouTube channel. From his formal game reviews to his more in-formal In-Play "Slice of Life" videos, most of them are pretty insightful.

Tiles Vs. Cards

Saw an awesome Geeklist on Board Game Geek today.

My brain doesn't seem to have the wiring to deal with sports discussions or celebrity gossip. But a lively discussion about cards and tiles…that is the kind of "trainwreck" I will slow down my car and even roll down the window to keep track of.

"There was a period where I actively avoided card driven games due to a fear of investing in a game that will wear out in a fraction of the time."

The OP then goes on further to say cards as a design choice inevitably "cheapens" a game.

Cards!

Tiles!

I like tiles, and I like cards. Both of these things will, eventually, wear out under enough manipulation. I wish I had a game I played so much the cards broke. The closest game in my collection is Snap, whose pieces are in a configuration that Mr. Miller could only dream in his darkest, deepest colby-jack-and-salami fueled nightmares.

Jigsaw Puzzle!

So of course after many, many play-throughs the cardboard layers are starting to separate. You know what I am going to do after the game has lost it's playability? I'm going to buy another copy!

Expensive you might say. But really, any game holding you and your group's interest long enough to wear out its pieces probably deserves a little additional investment. How many pristine game boxes are sitting in your closet right now? How many have you played more than 2 or 3 times?

In addition, thanks to the Magic: The Gathering cultists and their card-protecting fanaticism, anyone in the world can purchase these things called sleeves. If you really need to.

I buy my zombies at Radio Shack

Saw the Graveborn deck spoiled today, and…past the 3 Animate Deads…one card jumped out of the pack for me.

Diabolic Servitude

Alternate arts will be Crosis the Purger, Animate Dead and Cabal Therapy. Meaning we'll get the above scene, unchanged, wrapped lovingly in the new Magic card borders.

Sometimes its hard to identify with the villians in today's Magic story lines. In Wizard's rush to make their art grittier and more realistic, artists often end up handing over horrific creatures who have lost all sense of humanity. It is hard for me to empathize with Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur or Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre.

But this anonymous Phyrexian minion in the art for Diabolic Servitude, more than just about any other card, espouses a belief all black mana-using mages have always held.

Sometimes, it feels good to be bad.

Sure all the "emergency" midnight appointments at the cemetery really cut into your party time. But that pile of body parts doesn't just lay around the office stinking up the place. You bring that stuff to life!

Despite Innistrad being 25% all about lightning-charged science zombies, we have to dig back to Urza Block tp see one actually controlled by a sweet thumbstick remote. Especially boss when you have to fashion your own double A's out of aether and meteoric nickel.

The guy takes pride in his work.

Advertising Advice

So, in addition to Magic and board games, I'm going to dabble in the occasional small writing critique. You can avoid them easily if so desired.

At my work email, I just got invited to some sort of web seminar, or "webinar". This happens quite frequently. The writers of these invitations think of themselves as the ultimate pitchmen, the Ron Popeil of  webinars, or "Webinpeils."

"I know your time is valuable. So I won't waste it. I'll get right to the point."


Looking here, we have found actual evidence of some sort of shadowy mirror universe lurking beneath the English language. When you start your email with the previous 3 sentences you are magically saying the exact opposite.

1) your time is not valuable.
2) I am wasting your time.
3) I'm not getting to the point any time soon.

If you are going to lie 3 times in the first 3 sentences, why should I continue to the 4th?

Graveborn

Over Halloween, they spoiled 5 cards from the upcoming Graveborn collector deck. Didn't find out about it until I finally got around to listening to Monday Night Magic…but here are the cards:

1) Crosis, the Purger

 Graveborn is supposed to be a reanimation deck. First turn you get something like Crosis into your graveyard. Second turn you reanimate him to the battlefield. Third turn you attack and hopefully have enough mana to activate him and make your opponent discard a large portion of his or her cards. There are quite a few better cards for reanimation. But on the other hand I really like Crosis's style. He's obviously a Highlander staple. And I don't have one yet. So this card gets a big thumbs up times three.

2) Buried Alive

I was really happy when this card was reprinted in one of the recent pre-constructed Highlander decks. Then I was sad when I ended up buying a different deck. Than I was happy again when I got a Weatherlight version of Buried Alive in the mail. Buried Alive is certainly not as powerful as 1-mana Entomb. But putting 3 creatures into your graveyard sets up a lot more shenanigans, especially in Highlander. Combined with Living Death, Buried Alive can take over the entire table in a single turn.


3) Animate Dead

Chewie on Monday Night Magic brought this to my attention. Animate Dead is going to be reprinted, and Wizards must have figured out a way to smoosh the current oracle wording onto a physical card. Making me very happy, because this is the classic reanimator tool. I remember using this to reanimate Lord of the Pit. 

Now about the oracle wording. This used to be an "enchant dead creature" card. Then it used to be a straight enchantment that changed to an enchant creature once it entered the battlefield. It's gone through lots of revisions. Here's a quick parlor trick: If you take a drink every time you read the word "enchant" "creature" and "battlefield," you never actually finish reading the card.

"When Animate Dead enters the battlefield, if it's on the battlefield, it loses "enchant creature card in a graveyard" and gains "enchant creature put onto the battlefield with Animate Dead." Return enchanted creature card to the battlefield under your control and attach Animate Dead to it. When Animate Dead leaves the battlefield, that creature's controller sacrifices it."

4) Entomb

This is a huge money card, since one mana is about as efficient as you can get. Also an instant, so you can search during your opponent's turn. And…I just noticed this…you can bury any card, not just creatures. Making this a one mana tutor for spells with flashback.


5) Avatar of Woe

I am familiar with this card for one reason. It's a pillar of my friend Greg's hellish Emperor deck. Combining counterspells, bounce, damnation, pestilence and this to create an unstoppable terror machine until you give up in frustration. The amazing and degenerate thing about multiplayer is it ensures cards like Avatar of Woe will basically always be cast for 2 lousy black mana. Really. But hey, if you cant beat 'em, join 'em. I'm sure Avatar will be just as good in Highlander.

Stealth Spam

Here's how it went:

"Thank you for your wonderful blog."

Not very promising…and very suspicious.

"I spent an hour on your blog, reading your posts with pleasure…"

Highly suspicious!

"I really like the Picture of the Day: Jabba the Hutt"

RED ALERT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT!

Photon Torpedos…Away!

"I really love my job! We have a friendly team and good management. But unfortunately I have no idea how to convince a blogger to link to us, I'm afraid I might lose my job because of it. :("


It is with some pride that I look back on my blog and realize I've been operating long enough to establish a parasitic presence on at least a few people's RSS feeds…and also have begun to attract some of the higher quality spam lurking out there. Probably the most well written I've ever seen.

Anyway, more high-flying content to come!

Maybe They've Run Out of Things to Do with One Sided Cards?

I've recently caught a bug for the long-running podcast "The Dice Tower" and will gain no relief until each episode is listened to. Main contibutor Tom Vassel is tireless in his reviews of board and card games, examining (and even playing) more titles than I would have imagined humanly possible. And he has about 10 kids, too. I have 2 and that seems to absorb a pretty decent sized chunk of time.

Episode #225 gives a good example of the standard podcasts, reviews of games they've recently played contrasted with news of upcoming releases. And boy are there a lot of releases! Perhaps confining one's interests to a single collectible card game makes more sense after all.

Dice Tower #225 - Profound Influences

Interesting for Magic players, this episode provides a bit of an "outsider's perspective" on Innistrad's double-sided card mechanic/design feature. Tom stresses that he is a casual Magic player, but he does enjoy the game greatly. The choice to start messing around with the backs of cards is really a mystifying design decision.

I've never been a huge fan of "Party Games" but the next party I'm at, I want the traditional role of "The Great Dalmuti" replaced by "Hart an der Grenze," the electrifying game of customs enforcement. Trying to smuggle contraband through airports, combined with a working "bribe" mechanic sounds like the cat's pajamas especially with everyone acting the roles out.

Talk of Hart an der Grenze can be found at 38:00
Talk of the Innistrad expansion can be found at 42:40

After I'm all done with the audio podcast stream, there is a completely independent video podcast. He must seriously never sleep.